PROLOGUE

I started dating when i was 16. I fell in love with the cutest guy ever and it was lovely. His kiss was like an angel farting on my face, that’s how i like to think it. His name was David.

David is the kind of guy most ladies dream of. When he asked me out, it was an easy decision for me. I didn’t have to think twice about it, my feminity was almost complete, my breasts were already a massive heap of beautiful flesh and my nipples stood like ripe boils on a child’s forehead. David knew how to make me laugh, he knew how to make me feel and he knew how to love a woman.

I remember his favourite joke was Basket Mouth’s “There are two things involved..,” That one about “…,If you are a man you are safe but if you are a woman there are two things involve..,” He would say the joke in such a way that i would laugh till i get really hungry and with him, the joke was never dry. David also perfected the art of keeping beards, his beards were always well trimmed and so perfect i always hesitated before i drive my hands into them for fear of spoiling the perfection.