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SHORT STORY
Prologue
She arrived home at the castle from where her husband had sent her. That Dreadful, lonely place. The screams and immense torture haunted her dreams. As soon as she returned to the castle he put on his usual fake confusing charm but goes right back to his old controlling, excessively drunk and abusive ways. Will she finally find the freedom she’s been waiting for. Will she finally have the courage to leave him for good?
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It has a well detailed storyline.
Well written story with the most focused on detail I have ever read. Good Job.
Awesome
There is a great story in there but the strings of adjectives in front of every noun make it hard to follow. You end up counting them rather than following the story.
“The dark purple velvet robe” “the long wide aisle” “the tall, stately, greying older gentleman” etc.
These are Dan Brown style approaches that he uses to pad a thin story into a 400 page book. In short stories you need to focus on the essence – there is no room for padding.
Great story but i couldn’t really place the events in the story. too much details on the surroundings and non living things, i would have loved to know what is going on between the guard and the queen,an why she left in the first place,but in all, nice one
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Love the story? Donate to support the writer
It has a well detailed storyline.
Well written story with the most focused on detail I have ever read. Good Job.
Awesome
There is a great story in there but the strings of adjectives in front of every noun make it hard to follow. You end up counting them rather than following the story.
“The dark purple velvet robe” “the long wide aisle” “the tall, stately, greying older gentleman” etc.
These are Dan Brown style approaches that he uses to pad a thin story into a 400 page book. In short stories you need to focus on the essence – there is no room for padding.
Great story but i couldn’t really place the events in the story. too much details on the surroundings and non living things, i would have loved to know what is going on between the guard and the queen,an why she left in the first place,but in all, nice one